


Don't Let Me Down

by bubbie



Series: Don't Let Me Down [1]
Category: Lexa and Clarke - Fandom, The 100, clarke and lexa - Fandom, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 04:59:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8273831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbie/pseuds/bubbie
Summary: Series summary - Clarke and Lexa meet by chance at the college they attend. Life hits Lexa hards when she finds out devastating news and her dependence on Clarke intensifies more than either can seem to handle.





	1. Psychology 101

**Author's Note:**

> It'll get better and longer I swear

The doorbell obsessively echoed throughout the apartment at around 6 in the morning, yanking me from my sleep. I tossed the covers off of my only partially clothed body, not bothering to put a shirt on over my sports bra and shorts, and made my way to the door. 

The ringing continued as I screamed, “calm the fuck down, I’m coming!”

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes angrily and opened the door only to be greeted with a chipper, “hey, fuckface.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped aside so Raven could come into the cramped, two bedroom apartment in which we shared, “forget your key again?”

She nodded while plopping onto the couch and clicking on our small flatscreen, “why remember my key when you’re literally always home?”

“Maybe so I don’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to let you in when I have class at 10am.”

“Oh, please, Lexa! You’ve taken that class like six times, you know it like the back of your hand.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets and started making my way back to my room, “two times, besides that’s not the point, I actually enjoy going to that class.”

She called out from the couch to me as I closed my bedroom door, “Only because Clarke’s in it this year!”

I tucked my face under my black duvet and pretended I didn’t hear her and tried to get some more sleep before I needed to shower.

*

I slid into my seat and dropped my bookbag next to my feet as the rest of the students starting pouring into Psychology 101, their eyes scanned for their friends or open seats as they shuffled their ways through the isles.  
Clarke was among them and her eyes lit up when they locked with mine and she took her usual seat next to me, nudging me as a hello. Clarke was special, I had only met her last year during a college football game, our school was up against its biggest rival, so practically everyone was there. It was usually the only game of the season that I attended.  
We both were in the snacks line at the same time by chance and she tapped my shoulder and asked if she should borrow 50 cents, she left her wallet in the car and her friend didn’t give her enough change for what she wanted. With a promise of paying me back, though I didn’t expect her to or even really care if she did, I dug into my pocket and gave her the small loan which was thanked with a large smile and more reassurance that she’d pay me back.  
I didn’t see her again until after the game, as everyone was finding their ways to their cars. Raven and I were almost to her car when Clarke popped up out of nowhere, 50 cents in hand and a wide smile on her face.  
After that, we just kept randomly running into each other between classes or during games that I suddenly had a new found interest in. It was a passing friendship, we never really spent time together. Only the small chats here and there, occasional texts, sometimes brief phone calls.  
It wasn’t until I found out a few months ago how passionate she was about this class that we actually spent more than 5 minutes together. Yes, I signed up for it because she told me she was planning on taking it, but also it’s a very intriguing class. 

Clarke leaned over and whispered to me just as the lecture started, “you coming to the football game tonight?”

I flashed my eyes at her with a smile, “I was planning on it, are you?”

She nodded while taking notes, “Yeah, but there’s a party afterwards at the Blake’s place, they usually have some killer parties. Shit ton of alcohol and the loudest music your little ears can take. You down?”

I doodled on my notebook, seeing no need in taking notes, “I’ve been to one of their parties before, they get pretty intense-”

She cut me off with a quick shake of her head, “No, well I mean yeah, but you and I can just hang out in Octavia’s room,” she shifted, “the door locks.”

I looked at her and tried to pinpoint her intentions, but my thoughts quickly flashed to her boyfriend, Finn. They had been together for a couple months now, they don’t seem too serious, but then again I never spent any time with the two of them. 

I nudged her, “Yeah, sure, meet you at the entrance after the game?”

She lit back up and nodded, “Sounds great!”

*

Raven kept making crude jokes about the party with Clarke later on, on the walk to the game. I did my best to block my annoying best friend out, but it was no use. If Raven wants to be heard, she certainly makes herself heard. I love the girl with all my heart, but I swear she’s actually 12 instead of 22. Even when we were 12 she still seemed too immature for her age.  
Her and I found open space on the bleachers and squeezed our way through before sitting on the cold metal. Raven immediately pulled out her phone and made me take a picture with her, she was crazy about making sure every memory was documented. It had been an obsession of her’s since we were 8. I didn’t mind it, I was in most of the memories, so it was always nice to go through sometimes for nostalgic reasons. 

“So what are you captioning this one, Ray?”

She smiled her evil little grin, “I was thinking something like ‘The Night Lex Gets Laid’”

A voice spoke up from behind us, “Lexa finally making a move on that Clarke chick?”

We both glanced back at our friend Jasper, but Raven spoke, “She fuckin’ better, Clarke invited her to spend the night at a party locked in a room together.”

Jasper raised his eyebrows and winked, “She so wants you, dude.”

I groaned, “You guys are delusional, she has a boyfriend.”

Jasper chuckled, “Yeah, we remember the night you found out, you drank like 3 years worth of your life away.”

Raven wrapped her arm around my shoulders, “We just think you should at least try to go for it, I adore you and seeing you this miserable over a girl all the time is killin me, man. Finn seems like a sweet guy and all but those guys will never last. It’s a fling at the most.”

“A fling that’s last two and a half months”

Jasper broke in, “A fling that has been on and off for two and a half months.”

Monty plopped down next to Jasper, “We talking bout Clarke and Finn?”

Jasper greeted Monty and updated him on my “situation” as all my friends have been referring to it as since I met Clarke. The announcer declared a goal from our team and the crowd erupted with cheers and applause. I checked the game timer, we still had about another hour until the game would end and I could feel myself already getting anxious.


	2. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets a ride from Bellamy to the party and finds out some exciting news for her from Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get a chance to read over it, so if there's any mistakes, please let me know

By the time the game ended, practically my whole body was shaking and my palms were already sweating. Raven, Jasper, and Monty kept nudging me and laughing as we shuffled our way through the crowd that was exitting, as well. I could feel the nerves fill my stomach, I didn’t even know why. Clarke and I were just hanging out at a party for a while, she probably just mentioned that the door locks so I wouldn’t feel nervous. Lot of good that did.  
Raven swiftly hugged me goodbye as she split off with Jasper and Monty, they had a party of their own. Pizza and horror movies at our apartment. They mentioned Nightmare on Elm Street, which I had no interest in watching anyway. I prefer more of a movie from the 90s about starcrossed lovers or newer action movies. Raven only watched them with me when she was drunk or owed me, Jasper and Monty do everything together, so they usually are off doing their own thing. I don’t mind, really. I like my alone time, besides sometimes my cousin Indra will join me for the action movies. 

“Hey, Lexa, you ready?”

I glanced at the tall, very well built figure in front of me, “Oh, hey. Bellamy. Where’s Clarke?”

He shrugged and motioned me towards his car, “Something came up with Finn, she needed to take care of it, she said she’d meet us at my place.”

My stomach twisted as disappointment slapped me in the face, “Actually, I think I might have too much homework for a party tonight. Rain check?”

His face scrunched up, “What? Aw, Clarke was really looking forward to this. I promise she won’t be long, just come, it’ll be fun! If you don’t have fun, I’ll drive you home and buy you any alcohol of your choice. Just give it a chance, for Clarke?”

I sighed and opened his passenger side door, “Fine, I’m gonna hold you to that.”

He grinned as he climbed into his Ford F-150. I’ve always seen this car parked around campus, slowly getting more and more roughed up with the years. I had only been in it once before, he drove me home from a party of his two years ago. I had gotten hammered and I only vaguely remember any of it. All I know is he used my phone for directions and he helped me stammer my way to my apartment. That had been the only time I attended one of their parties and I was convinced it would have been the last.  
I didn’t really know either of the Blake’s very well either, I have World Studies with Bellamy and English class with his younger sister, Octavia, but that’s it really. We talk in class and work on projects together because we’re familiar faces, but outside of class we just don’t have much in common. They’re sporty and major drinkers, but I get nauseous around alcohol and the only sport I’ve played was soccer when I was six.  
I looked up from my lap as I realized he had Twenty One Pilots blaring over his car radio and we had just pulled into his familiar two story house. I have no idea how they afford it, I’ve always guessed their parents are rich and pay for it for them. It wasn’t a small, shitty house either, no. It was on an acre of land, had probably about eight bedrooms, for sure 3 bathrooms, a huge bar in the basement, plus a rec room full of arcade games.  
He shut his car off and you could already hear the blasting music booming out of his house. He glanced at me before getting out and walking around and offering me a hand out of the truck. I hesitated, but accepted and climbed out, following him into the frontdoor. 

He pointed to the kitchen and shouted over the music, “I’ll be in there if you need me, most people are downstairs at the bar, okay?”

I nodded, not wanting to contribute to the unnecessary amount of sound in this house. He politely smiled and made his way through the random crowds of people. I let my eyes wander the entrance way, it was beautifully done. A large, crystal chandelier hanging in the center of the ceiling, family portraits decorated the deep red walls, underneath was a table with unlit candles and a bowl of car keys and a random assortments of phone chargers. I looked down and recognized the freshly waxed wood floor with small red rugs placed in doorways and at the bottom of the stairs.  
I remember the door to the basement being in the living room somewhere, but I didn’t intend on using it. Octavia’s room was upstairs, so I decided to just meet Clarke in there. I just needed to find out which room it was. I looked around, hoping to spot Octavia, but she was probably doing shots in the basement or something. I pushed my way to the kitchen, where Bellamy was laughing with his friend, Lincoln. 

He instantly noticed me, “Hey, Lex, you need something?”

“Uh yeah, where’s Octavia’s room? I don’t know when Clarke will be here, but I figured I might as well wait in there for her.”

“Third door on the right. Has Clarke not texted you?”

I shook my head, “No, why?”

He smiled and winked, “Just head up to my sister’s room.”

I didn’t understand the wink, but I spun around and jogged up to the room he directed me to. I heard voices in it, so I decided to knock first. I could already tell this wasn’t what I had expected, more people were going to be in here than just Clarke and me. I tried to ignore the sadness setting in my stomach as the door swung open and the stench of alcohol hit me in the face.

“Lexa!”

“Octavia, hi, sorry I was looking for-”

“Clarke yeah I know, come in!”

Just as she said that she was pulled out of the doorway and Clarke took her place with a smile and softly spoke, “Hey, sorry I couldn’t meet you at the entrance,” her face twitched a little, “Finn and I broke up, again. I hope you don’t mind, Octavia was trying to cheer me up. I can tell her to leave?”

My eyes locked on the very drunk, very unstable girl walking around her bedroom, speaking to herself and I chuckled, “I think she needs you more than me right now.”

Clarke glanced backward quickly then looked back at me, “No, this is every Friday night, she’s fine,” she turned around, “O, can you go join the rest of the party, please? Your crashin’ our get together.”  
Octavia scoffed, “Yes, princess, sorry for being in my own room.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and shoved her friend out, closing the door behind her, “So, what are you up for?”

I shrugged, “We can talk about Finn if you want, are you okay?”

Her smile was warm, but not genuine, “He’s not really anything special. I’ve had my eye on someone else lately, anyway. He never treated me very good, I know he cared about me, but he’s never around. I honestly just think he dated me to say he had a girlfriend, you feel?”

“Yeah, I get that. I used to have a girlfriend like that, her name was Costia. I loved that girl with every part of me, but it just wasn’t there.”

She nodded, “I remember, you guys were inseparable, but I never saw a spark between you two.”

I raised my eyebrows, “We didn’t know each other back then?”

Her cheeks turned a deep red, “Yeah no, I know, but it’s always been kinda hard not to pay attention to you. That day, at the snack bar, was not by chance,” she laughed uncomfortably, “I saw you heading for the line and I figured I should toughen the fuck up and actually talk to you.”

“Wait, really?”

She sat on the large, pillow filled bed, “Yeah, you’re a stunning and interesting person, Lexa, you don’t even know.”

I could feel my palms getting sweaty all over again, “Well, uh, I mean, you are too. You should see how beautiful you look during a lesson when the professor says something that interests you.”

She stood and stepped closer to me, speaking just above a whisper, “Is that so?”


	3. Chapter 3

I could feel the heat of her breath of my lips, “Mhmm, yeah, yes.”

She laughed and curled back up on the bed, “Do you wanna watch something?”

I slowly let the air I was holding in, out, “Do you have a preference?”

“I was thinking Nightmare On Elm Street, do you like that?”

I laughed a bit and nodded, “Of course, let’s watch.”

*

Everything remained silent around us as I embraced the overwhelming feeling in my chest. Maybe it wasn’t truly silent as the fear filled Clarke in my lap, her deep blue eyes locked on the hellish being on the screen, but to me it was as if we were in our own bubble. It seemed as if time froze while my eyes scanned over the reason I had been so lost lately. Those sparkling eyes, that beautiful hair, her heavenly smile. Nothing else could ever possibly matter right now. Just that girl that I could gaze at for hours on end.  
The world slowly let itself back in as her eyes were forced to drift away from the movie, to the sound of someone knocking. She sucked in a sharp breath and snuggled in tighter with me, not saying a word. The knocking still continued despite the lack of response, but Clarke still didn’t budge.

“Clarke? It’s Finn, please open up!”

She shot up in her spot, stealing a glance at me before shouting, “Go home, Finn!”

I could hear the pleading in his desperate voice, “Please, just let me in, let’s talk about this! It doesn’t make any sense,” the locked doorknob jiggled a bit, “Please, Clarke, I thought we were doing so good. I just don’t understand.”

Clarke climbed over me and sluggishly made her way to the door, hesitating, but reluctantly opening it, “Look, Finn, it’s not like we were ever this perfect couple, anyway. We’ve been good lately, I’ll give you that, but we both know it wouldn’t have lasted.”

“It could have, please, just give it another chance! It can work, I’ll do anything! All the effort you want from me, you can have.”

She blew air out of her lips and ran her fingers through her hair while shaking her head, “Honestly, if you would have treated me when we’re dating the way you treat me when you’re trying to get me back, we never would have broke up, but you don’t, so no. Finn, this is done, we are done. Go home.”

His breath quivered ever so slightly, “Clarke, please..”

I heard footsteps come up behind him, followed by Bellamy’s voice, “Finn, Octavia told me you were here.”

“Bell, this is none of your busi-”

Bellamy laughed angrily, “Oh, no, I think it is. My house, my rules, get out or Lincoln and I will throw you out.”

“Bellamy, I just need to talk to Clarke, okay?”  
Lincoln’s voice sliced through me like a knife, “If you don’t get the fuck out of here in the next ten seconds, I will make sure you will not be talking to anyone ever again.”

I heard Finn’s feet quickly shuffle their way down the hall, followed by Clarke thanking the boys before closing the door once more to return to me. She sprawled out right on top of me, while it was a thrilling feeling, my nerves and jealousy over Finn got the best of me. 

I twirled her hair around my finger, “Did you ever love Finn?”

She hummed, “Maybe back when we were teenagers, but while we were dating, no. I think it was just a fantasy I was trying to fulfill and I quickly realized it was nothing like I had imagined.”

“He seems to really love you, though.”

I felt her fingers start to trace shapes on my arm, “Desperation isn’t love, especially when it’s only shown when they don’t get their way.”

I decided to just leave the conversation at that, I had gotten what I wanted out of it. She didn’t love him. The end credits music starting playing through the silence of the calm bedroom, neither of us moved. Everything felt pure and innocent, as if this was something we did everyday. We fit together, not as if we were puzzle pieces, it had nothing to do with our bodies. Our personalities, our souls, it just fit. As if we were all either of us needed for a while.   
As much as I could get used to this, I knew a great amount of time had passed, and I really did have a lot of homework I needed to get done before tomorrow. My parents were heading up and I needed to be free for them. It was only for the day, but I hadn’t seen them in a month and I really wanted to spend all the time I could with them. 

Clarke sat up and gazed down at me, “You wanna sleep here? Most everyone is, Bellamy locks the keys away in a cabinet, besides he’s probably hammered and I know he drove you here.”

I shrugged, “I really would love that, but I need to get home. I’m sorry, maybe another time?”

She nodded, “Do you have a ride? We’re too far from campus to walk.”

“I could probably find one, don’t worry.”

She rolled over, grabbing some keys off of the nightstand, “We’ll take Octavia’s car, you ready to go?”

“Oh, hey, no, you don’t need to do that, it’s okay!”

She hopped off the bed, “The Clarke Express is leaving, get a move on.”


End file.
